Reasons to be cheerful

Forgive me. I really don’t want to go into too much detail about the plot of this wonderful, delightful, funny, engaging, and moving film. In my humble opinion, the less you know, the better the viewing experience will be!

I have never seen the popular Downton TV series, and my only knowledge of it has been gleaned from watching the first film, which I really enjoyed. This ‘gap’, however, did not spoil my enjoyment of what is a superb piece of cinematic entertainment.

I laughed, I cried, and I sighed with contentment. I honestly can’t think of a bad thing to say about this film: everything from the acting to the direction to the script is pitch-perfect.

It is so good that it should win prizes for the quality of the performances, sets, and costumes (at the very least). Fans will, I think, be more than satisfied with this offering, while the rest of us will just have a very good time.

BEST FOOT FORWARD: Michelle Dockery is one of the stars of the new Downton film.

In the current installment, two plots are being played out in tandem. One, involving an inherited villa in southern France, raises questions about Lord Grantham’s heritage. The other concerns Downton itself being turned into a film set.

There may not be shootouts, superheroes battling evil demons, lost treasure, aliens, or huge bomb blasts  – all the stuff I usually love in a film – but I didn’t care! Watching Downton was an absolute pleasure as it offers a welcome change of pace to the usual fodder, and is well worth a tenner of anyone’s money.

This is one of my favourite films of the year, and nobody is more surprised to be typing these words than me. I urge you to watch it. If you like a great story, go and lose yourself for a few fleeting moments in a wonderful bygone era.

Andy Godfrey is Sorted’s film critic and a founding member of the Mark Kermode Appreciation Society.

OUT NOW, OUR LATEST ISSUE

We so need real men!

Why can't we say sorry?

Alongside millions of other TV viewers, I witnessed Will Smith assault Chris Rock live on television.

It was a truly shocking moment. Millions of people around the world saw it happen, as did several thousand people live at the Oscars ceremony. Yet after the infamous blow was landed, the show just continued as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. 

A handful of minutes later, Smith was back on stage receiving the Oscar for best actor. After drawing gasps of horror and surprise from the audience the first time he strode forward, he received a standing ovation from Hollywood’s great and good when picking up his award. Acknowledging the violence that had preceded this, a tearful Smith then gave a ‘non-apology’ apology for his outburst.

The whole incident really unsettled me. Why? Because the sequence of events that played out that fateful night is so common to survivors of domestic abuse.

IS HE REALLY SORRY? for many of us, Will Smith's apology had a hollow ring to it.

Before I continue, I want to make it perfectly clear I am not accusing Will Smith of being a domestic abuser in any shape or form. What he did was assault another man. But working as a practitioner in the field of domestic abuse, I see the familiar pattern of ‘non-apology’ happen time and again. It is particularly prevalent in our churches. And, for me and others, it is a growing area of concern.

When Smith assaulted Chris Rock, what I actually saw was a more prominent star hit someone with less status. He had the power and he wielded it. Plain and simple.

This has so many parallels with the world I work in.

Domestic abusers don’t target everyone: typically they use their power and tactics of control against their spouses to manage situations for their benefit. In most instances, the victims are women.

POWER AND CONTROL: domestic abusers typically target female spouses who find it hard to fight back.

Smith is such a megastar that no one – not the hundreds of security guards, not the hosts, not even the guests –  called him to account. To me, it felt like the audience decided they hadn’t really seen Smith’s hand connecting with Rock’s jaw. And, because of the enormity of the occasion, they could be forgiven for pretending it had never happened.

For the avoidance of doubt, brushing domestic abuse under the carpet is commonplace.

One place that should be able to deal with such a sensitive and disturbing matter is a church. But many are ill-equipped to manage it. All too often their solution is to simply turn a blind eye and allow events to run their course.

At the Oscars, some people aligned themselves with Smith, saying Rock’s joke “went too far” and that the comedian was asking to be struck.

This is how things play out for abuse victims, who are often asked if they did anything to aggravate their husbands before they were beaten! The assumption of many is there must be aggravating behaviors that warrant abuse. This includes the often held assumption wearing a short skirt somehow justifies rape.

LITTLE SYMPATHY: there has not been a lot of public support for the comedian, Chris Rock.

While many celebrities comforted and consoled Smith after his outburst, it was surprising to see how few people were supporting the injured party.

Again, this happens in our churches, where a victim is often forced to leave a congregation, while their abuser stays and receives all the consolation that can be offered.

So, if you ever wondered how power and control work – how good people turn a blind eye, how abusers can be celebrated while the victim is ignored – think back to the Oscars of 2022, and the extraordinary sequence of events that unfolded that night.

It is a shocking and powerful example of how easy it is for us all to do the wrong thing at a testing time.

Click here if you would like to get a copy of Restored’s guide for churches, giving practical advice about how to understand and manage domestic abuse within a congregation.

Esther Sweetman is the Partnership Manager of the charity Restored.

Successful and psychotic

James Macintyre was a successful young man at the top of his game – until a breakdown unexpectedly hit him for six.

A serious psychotic episode led to him being sectioned and subsequently spending three years in and out of hospital.

A high-flier in the world of political journalism, James was a staffer on well-known titles like Prospect, New Statesman, and The Independent as well as the BBC's flagship current affairs TV programme Question Time. Not so long ago, he also co-authored the biography of former Labour Party leader, Ed Miliband.

A decade after the breakdown, James discusses it, and his eventual recovery, with his friend, Iain Dale, on LBC's All Talk podcast. It is a fascinating insight into a very painful period – and one I wholeheartedly encourage you to listen to.

BROUGHT TO BOOK: before his breakdown, James Macintyre co-authored Ed Miliband's biography.

In a very honest conversation, James and Iain try to piece together the dramatic events that led to James being hospitalised. What follows is the most honest conversation about mental health I've ever heard, and it's given me a better understanding of how and why things can go so desperately wrong. 

In his role as a political journalist, James became entangled with right-wing bloggers.

“It was a horrible period really, it got me down, and at that point, I was on anti-depressants, and also frankly, drinking too much alcohol at times and the combination was not a good one,” he says. “Things began to spiral, though there was a very specific moment where… the breakdown really happened. There is a division between how I was – a bit out of control beforehand – and then what happened, when there was a sort of serious psychotic breakdown.

“I had had depression and mild anxiety in the past but slightly thrived on pressure… but at this point, I just stopped functioning. I can remember walking out of the office for the first time in my life [it was a sunny day in central London] and I was just weeping in the street. Obviously, I realised then I needed help.”

HIT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER: James couldn't function when his breakdown claimed him.

It wasn’t long before James became suicidal, and that’s when he phoned Iain.

“I vividly remember your response which was 'If you ever have thoughts like this again day or night call me', and that was hugely helpful and I'm eternally grateful for that,” he recalls. “Despite your help, and [that of] others, I declined, and eventually I stopped eating, then stopped sleeping and basically started hallucinating, and it turned into full-blown psychosis and I went wandering around London trying to escape what I thought were SWAT teams.”

Thankfully, James has now recovered, with the help, support, and love of family members. And today, he now volunteers at the Iona Community, which is located on the remote Scottish island of the same name.

“How has your faith helped you through this? How can you believe in a God that's enabled you to go through what you've had to go through?” are key questions Iain asks in the podcast.

SAFE HAVEN: Iona – the burial place of ancient Scottish kings – is where James Macintyre now resides.

The response is very enlightening.

 “I think it's true that at times I felt, and I don't use the word lightly, that I was in hell… but my faith has helped me,” responds James. “I'm deeply grateful to have retained that faith and actually nowadays I look back and think God has always looked after me and been with me

“It could happen to anyone, I do want to stress there is hope and recovery. I do feel it's right to speak out and I guess, witness to the fact that people can go through quite extreme breakdowns and psychosis, and come out of them; and it is great to be well.”

To listen to the full podcast, please click here:

Val Fraser is a freelance journalist and regular Sorted columnist.

Sauce ban shocker

Should we or shouldn’t we? The great condiment debate has been raging ever since restaurants decided to offer sauces to their diners more than a century ago.

And even though more upmarket establishments often turn their noses up at those who splash ketchup all over their culinary delights – they tolerate the ‘transgressions’ in the interests of the overall dining experience.

But Frankie and Benny’s has announced it is now taking the draconian step of banning condiments from all of its popular 96 restaurants across the UK.

As of today, the chain is “shaking things up” – by refusing to offer ketchup, mayonnaise, or even salt and pepper, at their tables.

Anyone thinking about ‘dipping’ into their pockets or bags and using their own sauces will find staff confiscating them before any of the offending liquids, or particles, corrupt the restaurant’s range of Italian foods, returning them to guests as they depart.

“Our new menu additions are some of our best to date and we wanted to think of a way to encourage our guests to enjoy their true, uninterrupted flavours,” commented spokesman Matt Pouchotek.

“By stopping people from adding condiments, such as tomato ketchup and mayonnaise, should allow them to enjoy the dishes in authentic, Italian fashion.”

Upon arrival, customers will be greeted with “No Condiments” signs dotted around restaurants alongside an all-new menu that includes a message that reads: "Please note this is a No Ketchup Zone - we do not have condiments in restaurants."

The new measures are being taken to encourage people to relish the moment and enjoy the true flavour of some of the restaurant brand’s latest dishes, including a new Southern Fried Chicken starter, Chicken & Prawn Alfredo, and Halloumi Wrap.