Since the brutal killing of Sarah Everard, women have revealed on social media many incidents of being accosted, abused, harassed and followed home by strangers. They\u2019ve been letting the world know that they don\u2019t feel safe.<\/p>\n
Alas, the response of many men has been to hide behind the words: \u2018It wasn\u2019t me!\u2019<\/p>\n
Guys, if there\u2019s one thing I\u2019ve learned while living in a house alongside six women, it\u2019s to listen a little longer when someone is sharing their story \u2013 and not to make it all about me. For women aren\u2019t saying that all men are dangerous; they are saying they don\u2019t feel safe.<\/p>\n
If we were to listen a little bit more carefully we\u2019d realise there is a huge difference.<\/p>\n
And what growing numbers of women are saying is \u2018It\u2019s not all men, but it is some men\u2019.<\/p>\n
Right now, in the aftermath of Sarah\u2019s tragic death, I think it only right that we all listen to what is being said, regardless of our gender, or whether we think we contribute to the problem, or not.<\/p>\n
Something bigger has been triggered in our society. It is similar to the reaction provoked by the death of George Floyd last year. He wasn\u2019t the first black man to be killed by unscrupulous police, and he won\u2019t be the last. Yet his story ignited a movement of people determined to see change.<\/p>\n
And Sarah\u2019s Everard\u2019s story has created a similar tidal wave.<\/p>\n
Cressida Dick, the Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, quickly sought to assure women that these kind of crimes are incredibly rare, and she\u2019s right. But even though this may be the case, for very good reasons women don\u2019t feel safe.<\/p>\n
My wife works for Restored, a charity working to end violence against women, and she would say it\u2019s not a hysterical overreaction. She\u2019d say that while the big, fat crimes that hit the headlines are indeed rare, many thousands of women experience small-scale, yet serious, violence on a daily basis. These acts leave them wondering when it will escalate into something more?<\/p>\n
Two reports were published on International Women\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n
First, the World Health Organisation revealed one in four women will experience physical or sexual abuse by their husband or boyfriend globally. You heard me right \u2013 25 per cent of all women in the world who aren\u2019t safe in their own homes, let alone on the street.<\/p>\n
And then UN Women UK published a survey revealing 97 per cent of women aged 18-24 have been sexually harassed in a public space. That\u2019s almost every young woman you know. The abuse ranged from wolf-whistling and images being shared, to being followed home, flashed at or coerced into sex. Get your head around that statistic: almost every young woman you know! It seems almost impossible to believe, but I listen to the stories my daughters tell and realise the survey findings are not an exaggeration.<\/p>\n
It makes me want to know what I can do to change this damning narrative; to listen to the women around me; to hear their stories and ask them what would make a difference; and find out what will make them not just feel safer but be safer.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a huge and complex problem. The good news is there are some simple things we can do to improve things immediately:<\/p>\n
All men need to take a look at themselves and spot the places, however small, where actually it is us. The way we speak about women, where we (even unconsciously) place gendered expectations on them, the times we don\u2019t stand up for them.<\/p>\n
We can think about how we can help women feel safer by watching our actions in public \u2013 making sure we don\u2019t stare at them, crossing the road if we\u2019re running up behind them, not making comments or even compliments that might make someone uncomfortable. We might know we\u2019re not a threat, but we don\u2019t need to feel offended if someone sees us as a threat.<\/p>\n
Our inactions are as important as our actions. Are we prepared to challenge our mates if the conversation gets out of hand? Are we going to hold them to account if they disrespect their girlfriend or wife? Are we prepared to stand by our female friends, wives, daughters and colleagues if someone\u2019s giving them a tough time? Are we ready to stand up and do something instead of insisting it \u2018wasn\u2019t me\u2019?<\/p>\n
I want to see a different world for my wife and daughters, and not just for them \u2013 for all women.<\/p>\n
I follow a God who created men and women in his image to work together, live together and love together, and I want to see a world that looks a lot more like that and less like one where half the population lives in fear of the other.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
By Sorted Editor, Steve Legg<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The moment has come for men to stop being defensive and start hearing the cries of women who are saying \u2018We don\u2019t feel safe in our homes, or on our streets\u2019. Since the brutal killing of Sarah Everard, women have revealed on social media many incidents of being accosted, abused, harassed and followed home by […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,1540,1546],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-free-content","category-slideshow","category-homepage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8324"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8622,"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8324\/revisions\/8622"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runyourownwebsite.uk\/sorteddev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}