We'll begin with a box,
\nand the plural is boxes,<\/p>\n
But the plural of ox
\nbecomes oxen, not oxes.<\/p>\n
One fowl is a goose,
\nbut two are called geese,<\/p>\n
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.<\/p>\n
You may find a lone mouse
\nor a nest full of mice,<\/p>\n
Yet the plural of house
\nis houses, not hice.<\/p>\n
If the plural of man is
\nalways called men,<\/p>\n
Why shouldn't the plural of
\npan be called pen?<\/p>\n
If I speak of my foot and
\nshow you my feet,<\/p>\n
And I give you a boot, would
\na pair be called beet?<\/p>\n
If one is a tooth and a
\nwhole set are teeth,<\/p>\n
Why shouldn't the plural of
\nbooth be called beeth?<\/p>\n
Then one may be that, and
\nThree would be those,<\/p>\n
Yet hat in the plural would
\nnever be hose,<\/p>\n
And the plural of cat is
\ncats, not cose.<\/p>\n
We speak of a brother
\nand also of brethren,<\/p>\n
But though we say mother,
\nwe never say methren.<\/p>\n
Then the masculine pronouns
\nare he, his and him,<\/p>\n
But imagine the feminine:
\nshe, shis and shim!<\/p>\n
Let's face it - English is a
\ncrazy language.<\/p>\n
There is no egg in eggplant
\nnor ham in hamburger;<\/p>\n
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.<\/p>\n
English muffins weren't
\ninvented in England.<\/p>\n
We take English for granted,
\nbut if we explore its paradoxes,<\/p>\n
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
\nand a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.<\/p>\n
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,<\/p>\n
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?<\/p>\n
Doesn't it seem crazy that you
\ncan make amends but not one amend.<\/p>\n
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?<\/p>\n
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?<\/p>\n
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?<\/p>\n
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
\nshould be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.<\/p>\n
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?<\/p>\n
We ship by truck but send
\ncargo by ship.<\/p>\n
We have noses that run
\nand feet that smell.<\/p>\n
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.<\/p>\n
And how can a slim chance and
\na fat chance be the same,<\/p>\n
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?<\/p>\n
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language<\/p>\n
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,<\/p>\n
in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and<\/p>\n
in which an alarm goes off by going on.<\/p>\n
And, in closing, if father is Pop, how come mother's not Mop?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":111,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"class_list":["post-331","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n